From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
Luke 12:48
Sally NaetzkerBaer
Baer Essentials for Ethiopia
join me on facebook to learn more
12.19.2009
12.18.2009
Confession
December 18, 2009 Ethiopia
I think there is always some part of us that wants what we don't have. I am no different. My entire life I always felt a few steps off middle. The years passed, and I went through my 20's and 30's searching, learning, traveling, trying to find a place of comfort and peace. I moved almost every year. I lived in as many places without running water and electric as I did with. I sought out the removed, obscure, and unique. All the while, I longed to be content with what others had. Others seemed to stay still, dig deep, grow roots, and build families and communities. Their children happily participating in local school events: sports, plays, concerts. I wanted this. I wanted this community, fellowship, sharing of dreams and sorrows. But it never seemed to happen.
Even after marriage the unrest continued. We traveled, went through two International adoptions, moving each year, selling our possessions, going to school etc. While filled with blessings, these things individually never made sense. It felt as if we were always wearing a set of clothes that no-one else could understand. We were one step off, sometimes more. People have always been kind to us-beyond measure but I don't think they ever really "got" what we were up to. And rightfully so, because at the time, we sure didn't "get" it!
Finally, we got really sick of being different and fighting the mainstream. Last year, we settled on a sweet little farm in an area with a church that had many different nationalities (so our trans-racial family would be the norm) and a large home school community. We were bound and determined we were finally home and that we no longer had to "do something" to serve God. We could simply raise some chickens and serve at our church while raising our children. Period.
Thing is, even though I had traveled many countries in my life time, when I went to Ethiopia in August 2008 something very odd happened. I wasn't in the country more than 2 days and I knew I would be back. It was so strange- I didn't buy the usual artifacts to bring home for our adopted daughter as she got older or visit all the tourist sites because in my heart I knew Ethiopia was home. I cried every day I was there. Not because I was sad—I didn't really understand at the time, but I think it was because I was so relieved to have finally found where I belonged. My life started to make sense while I was there.
God's plan being what it is-(so much more than we can ever begin to imagine), He brought Tom and Emily to Ethiopia a few months later. Tom had the same experience as I did. Five months later we packed our 12 plastic buckets and 3 bike boxes and we moved to the birth place of humankind and our lives began to make sense. The longer we stayed, the more a peace we became. All the moves, changes, deaths, adoptions, struggles, victories, dreams, defeats, of our lives suddenly snapped into place. Together as a couple we created a tapestry from our past that was more brilliant and perfect than we could have ever imagined in our own mind without the other. Our marriage has become a light and a life of its own. We no longer fight for independence; rather we seek the oneness that is being created by our obedience to our commitment. Ethiopia has given us life.
So where is the confession? When we first moved here I think I tried to make it as much like our old lives as I possibly could. House, check, bathrooms, check, sheets, check, towels, check and on and on. All the while, people living in our compound without clothes? Yes. Others without enough food? Yes. People on the streets without a home? Yes.
Ethiopia has given us life but what are we giving to Ethiopia? Similarly, God gives us life, but what are we giving to God? I fear it is not enough. I get complacent. Lazy. Content with my middle-class life in Ethiopia. Yes we have made concessions, we never waste food- We eat ever thing in the pot and if there is some left we eat it in the morning. We don't waste water or clothing, empty bottles are given as gifts, our food budget has been slashed to the bare bones. We spend as much time as we can loving and building community with our friends in the country. But then I come back to my middle class house and turn on the TV so I can get a "break" from thinking about the 7 year old twins raising their 3 year old brother, or the boy with the huge burn on his leg but no medicine, or the hungry children that we feed one day a week who are going hungry the other 6 days or the cold nights that I snuggle under a blanket while the poor children sleep on thin mats or on the cold damp ground of their 8X10 foot mud home. Is it okay that we take "time off" from thinking of the poor, lame, hungry people of the world? Does God take time off from thinkiing about us?
I wonder what it would be if we collectively added just 2 hours a week—TWO HOURS, or even ONE hour a week more-not only thinking of those less fortunate but actually DOING something about the inequities that surround us—what would happen. Would it make a difference? Could we see the results? Stop and consider your friends and family- no need to move, no need for radical change- but just a slight shift, a couple feet to the right or to the left…one week at a time they commit to one hour of serving the less fortunate-can you see the shift happening? There is one catch to all of this dreaming…God said…first the Jews, then the Gentiles—first our friends, neighbors, families…THEN those that we don't know as much about—out of our comfort zone a bit. So we need to be willing to go out of our familiar place. How can we sleep in our cozy beds each night without responding when there is so much pain and suffering around us?
Father,
You have brought us to a place of peace and joy! Yet, I am complacent and lazy. I too easily settle. The plans you have for us! I am humbled and amazed at how much you love us. Please remove my desire for self and show me the way to be your hands and feet for others. Oh, the joy I find in dying to self so that your will might take over my life and shine light into the dark corners. Forgive me. You have given me life. Help me to give my life to others always.
December 18, 2009 Ethiopia
I think there is always some part of us that wants what we don't have. I am no different. My entire life I always felt a few steps off middle. The years passed, and I went through my 20's and 30's searching, learning, traveling, trying to find a place of comfort and peace. I moved almost every year. I lived in as many places without running water and electric as I did with. I sought out the removed, obscure, and unique. All the while, I longed to be content with what others had. Others seemed to stay still, dig deep, grow roots, and build families and communities. Their children happily participating in local school events: sports, plays, concerts. I wanted this. I wanted this community, fellowship, sharing of dreams and sorrows. But it never seemed to happen.
Even after marriage the unrest continued. We traveled, went through two International adoptions, moving each year, selling our possessions, going to school etc. While filled with blessings, these things individually never made sense. It felt as if we were always wearing a set of clothes that no-one else could understand. We were one step off, sometimes more. People have always been kind to us-beyond measure but I don't think they ever really "got" what we were up to. And rightfully so, because at the time, we sure didn't "get" it!
Finally, we got really sick of being different and fighting the mainstream. Last year, we settled on a sweet little farm in an area with a church that had many different nationalities (so our trans-racial family would be the norm) and a large home school community. We were bound and determined we were finally home and that we no longer had to "do something" to serve God. We could simply raise some chickens and serve at our church while raising our children. Period.
Thing is, even though I had traveled many countries in my life time, when I went to Ethiopia in August 2008 something very odd happened. I wasn't in the country more than 2 days and I knew I would be back. It was so strange- I didn't buy the usual artifacts to bring home for our adopted daughter as she got older or visit all the tourist sites because in my heart I knew Ethiopia was home. I cried every day I was there. Not because I was sad—I didn't really understand at the time, but I think it was because I was so relieved to have finally found where I belonged. My life started to make sense while I was there.
God's plan being what it is-(so much more than we can ever begin to imagine), He brought Tom and Emily to Ethiopia a few months later. Tom had the same experience as I did. Five months later we packed our 12 plastic buckets and 3 bike boxes and we moved to the birth place of humankind and our lives began to make sense. The longer we stayed, the more a peace we became. All the moves, changes, deaths, adoptions, struggles, victories, dreams, defeats, of our lives suddenly snapped into place. Together as a couple we created a tapestry from our past that was more brilliant and perfect than we could have ever imagined in our own mind without the other. Our marriage has become a light and a life of its own. We no longer fight for independence; rather we seek the oneness that is being created by our obedience to our commitment. Ethiopia has given us life.
So where is the confession? When we first moved here I think I tried to make it as much like our old lives as I possibly could. House, check, bathrooms, check, sheets, check, towels, check and on and on. All the while, people living in our compound without clothes? Yes. Others without enough food? Yes. People on the streets without a home? Yes.
Ethiopia has given us life but what are we giving to Ethiopia? Similarly, God gives us life, but what are we giving to God? I fear it is not enough. I get complacent. Lazy. Content with my middle-class life in Ethiopia. Yes we have made concessions, we never waste food- We eat ever thing in the pot and if there is some left we eat it in the morning. We don't waste water or clothing, empty bottles are given as gifts, our food budget has been slashed to the bare bones. We spend as much time as we can loving and building community with our friends in the country. But then I come back to my middle class house and turn on the TV so I can get a "break" from thinking about the 7 year old twins raising their 3 year old brother, or the boy with the huge burn on his leg but no medicine, or the hungry children that we feed one day a week who are going hungry the other 6 days or the cold nights that I snuggle under a blanket while the poor children sleep on thin mats or on the cold damp ground of their 8X10 foot mud home. Is it okay that we take "time off" from thinking of the poor, lame, hungry people of the world? Does God take time off from thinkiing about us?
I wonder what it would be if we collectively added just 2 hours a week—TWO HOURS, or even ONE hour a week more-not only thinking of those less fortunate but actually DOING something about the inequities that surround us—what would happen. Would it make a difference? Could we see the results? Stop and consider your friends and family- no need to move, no need for radical change- but just a slight shift, a couple feet to the right or to the left…one week at a time they commit to one hour of serving the less fortunate-can you see the shift happening? There is one catch to all of this dreaming…God said…first the Jews, then the Gentiles—first our friends, neighbors, families…THEN those that we don't know as much about—out of our comfort zone a bit. So we need to be willing to go out of our familiar place. How can we sleep in our cozy beds each night without responding when there is so much pain and suffering around us?
Father,
You have brought us to a place of peace and joy! Yet, I am complacent and lazy. I too easily settle. The plans you have for us! I am humbled and amazed at how much you love us. Please remove my desire for self and show me the way to be your hands and feet for others. Oh, the joy I find in dying to self so that your will might take over my life and shine light into the dark corners. Forgive me. You have given me life. Help me to give my life to others always.
Sally Naetzker Baer
Baer Essentials for Ethiopia
join me on facebook to learn more
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